I stumbled across a very sobering statistic recently, that honestly made me completely self aware for the entire weekend. The average women criticizes herself 8 times per day. Going back to my last diary entry where I mentioned being our own worst critics, 8 times per day doesn’t seem like much, until you start doing the math. 8 times, every single day, on average is 2,912 times per year. Over 33 years (my current age), that’s 96,096 times. Yet, the average woman praises herself a fraction of that 8 times. I can’t say that I’m not guilty, there are some days I’m well over 8 just during my few hours with you.
Most women deal out the first few self critiques by 9:30am, and 89% of them are quick to hand out compliments to others that they’d never consider themselves as being. Things like being beautiful, smart, organized, and strong are all words that the average women has a problem saying they are. Some of the top self criticisms included: being fat, bad hair/skin, not looking nice enough next to other coworkers, not feeling as photogenic as others on social media, not as creative as others, don’t make enough money, and your partner isn’t as attracted to you as they once were.
WHEW!! That’s just PART of the list!! I fully understand that it’s easier to shame ourselves, because somewhere in our brains something tells us it makes our insecurities sting a little less when pointed out by others.
I decided to test myself over the weekend and kept track of how many times, and what I was so self critical of. My first one happened as soon as I looked in the mirror on Saturday morning around 8:30am “Woah, you look like a hot mess!” I counted 10 more throughout the day and they were all things I know I’ve judged myself on before. My house being a mess, not looking good in clothes/feeling confident about my body/slacking on the gym, not looking as nice as my girl friends for our night out, being the single one in the group, not making a move on a guy that was CLEARLY interested because “he can do better.”
That, was just Saturday. UGH!!!
Where do we draw the line? At what point do we say “Self, shut it!”
We have a whole generation of young people looking up to us, trying to figure out how they can be like us, do we really want them growing up to do the same? If not for them, if simply for yourself, maybe we can all be a little more positive and a little less self critical. Perhaps as a special Christmas gift to you, from you.
There was a video going around social media of this young girl, maybe 3ish, giving the BEST self prep talk ever! It sounds cheesy, but we might all benefit from taking a few pages out of her book. Or perhaps from the book The Help “You is Smart. You is Kind. You is Important.”
We’ve all got to start somewhere, and I’m not big on being average.
Cheers!
– Sarah
