Sarah Matthews | 98.3 The Coast
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Sarah Matthews Archives

The Sarah Diaries: Battle Of The 2am Enough

A while back I was chatting with a good friend about our respective dating adventures, when she suddenly announced how she’s tired of just being “2am good enough.” I immediately exclaimed “YES!!” because that’s exactly how I’ve felt multiple times. I’m not sure I can pin point exactly when I decided I was ok with this form of “enough”, but clearly I’m not the only one. Which makes me happy, and yet super sad. I fully understand we’ve become a more relaxed society, but a girl can dream of being something more, can’t she? Now, before you say, “But Sarah, are you upfront with them with what you want?” The answer is yes. I’m incredibly open with guys and tell them I’m not interested in the casual fling, FWB, late night rendezvous, etc… which apparently makes me a challenge to them? Like, suddenly they feel the need to try and get me to cave and go back on my words to gain manliness points or something. There have been a few that I’ve strongly considered going for it. But that just makes me 2am good enough again…
(Note: As I’m typing this, my phone has dinged TWICE! from 2 guys who “Want to cuddle” or “Netflix?”… slightly ironic.)
Yet, the battle rages on…
Like I’ve said before, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.
So how do you break it? How do you convince yourself, and thus others that you’re more than just a “Heeeeyyyy” after dark? Personally, I’m starting to think it starts with admitting dating right now might not be for me, especially online – at least for the time being. Ok, also the types of guys I’ve been attracted to needs revamping, and re-examining what it is I’m looking for. In the meantime, it’s me and the gym, rediscovering my religious beliefs, explore other options and adventures on the bucket list, and heck maybe just maybe date myself. (After all there is no rule that says I can’t be my own Sugar Momma! HAHA!)
Eventually I’ll start asking friends if they know someone to keep me in mind. Continue purging my “lists” maybe give some of those past good first dates a call and a second chance. Throwing it out to the universe that I’m ready, and I’m well beyond 2am good enough.
Oh, one more thing… In case you were wondering, YOU are well beyond 2am good enough too!
Cheers!!
-Sarah
Sarah@983thecoast.com
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The Sarah Diaries: Slow Down & Say Sorry

By now you’ve probably realized I have a horrible history with guys. I fall fast. Like crazy, stupid, out of my mind, fast. And, it always seems like its the wrong ones. Guys that I know don’t want the same things as me, are 1,200 miles away, or the ones that I can actually tell are ashamed to be in public with me. (True story, I’ll share eventually.) So it should be no surprise to anyone who knows me that when I met a guy recently, I became excited about the potential and WHAM, true to form, everything crashed and burned. That’s part of the fun in dating though, right? While drowning sorrow that you’ve been friend-zoned after asking “What are we?”, another opportunity graces you. (When one door closes…)
For the most part I think I’m a good person, but as he (who shall remain nameless) pointed out to me, I’m not. Actually according to him, I’m pretty much a bottom feeder. After a super crazy, super drunken night on his part, I decided we should just be friends. Things were going WAY too fast, and I didn’t feel comfortable. Actually, terrified is probably the more accurate term. That’s where I made my first mistake, deciding to just be friends instead of ending it. In my defense, there was this crazy instant connection that we both recognized, which would prove to make being just friends with out any strings attached pretty impossible.
Fast forward to this past weekend, after going a few days without talking, I reached out. Yep, shouldn’t have done that – mistake number 2. Thinking, perhaps after a few days things have cooled down on both ends enough that we can think rationally and be friends, get to know each other better, and down the road see where things lead. I was so wrong… so… so wrong. This is where I turn into a bad person… I didn’t nip it in the bud right then and there. I didn’t know how. It felt so good to hear someone say all these amazing things to me that I dragged it out instead of ripping it off like a band-aid. Got his hopes up, his feelings re-involved, and ended up hurting him. Again. Jerk move on my part.
Among the many, MANY things he told me, were that I enjoy leading guys on. Letting them get their feelings involved and then crushing them like a black widow. Karma will get me, overall that I’m only out to build up my self esteem, and that I target the weak and pre-damaged only to break them even more – because I like it. Needless to say, I ended up crying, and questioning who I am.
Part of the things he said stung, because well, I’m afraid they might be true. There’s a part of me that doesn’t like admitting I’m scared that I’ll just end up hurt. So, I sabotage. Hurt them before they hurt me. I guess I just never put in perspective their feelings until him. Which also might explain why I’ve had so many bad experiences, and not enough good ones. It also gives me yet another area that I need to work on. Mostly it’s a reminder to slow down, think, and make sure I’m being the best me.
I hope if you’re one of the guys I’ve hurt/lead on, you’ll accept my apology. I really am sorry, and hope some day we can have a honest discussion about it and how I made you feel.
-Sarah
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The Sarah Diaries: Going Out Of My Comfort Zone

Oh the joys of being single on Valentine’s Day! All jokes, or self deprecation aside, today is just another day for me. I’m torn between calling it a “Hallmark Holiday” and some years torture. OK, torture might be a bit extreme. For me, the day has really never mounted to anything special. I’ve been dumped on Valentine’s Day (it’s for the best, I promise!), the third wheel with friends, and spent curled up with Cosita, Hallmark movies (ironically enough), and chocolate! In all honesty, today should be a special day, but it also shouldn’t be the ONLY day you show love to yourself, your S.O., and to others.
Most days, at least for me, showing myself love is the hardest thing imaginable. With that, comes the ability to take our bodies, our “self”, for granted. We forget the sheer ability to wake up in the morning and breathe on our own, walk across the room, drive, sing, write, or do the simplest of tasks are not always a given and guaranteed thing.
Cosmo recently re-shared a link to an article they posted from a year ago. You can read it here (http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a55260/why-i-sext-my-best-friends/) The story of a woman and the moment she viewed her “self” differently. It was all a direct link to watching her husband die from cancer. Watching his body go from a fully functionally healthy man to someone who couldn’t walk, run, or breathe on his own. She began seeing her list of flaws differently. She began loving herself for what her body could do, not hating it for what it couldn’t.
 
She also began doing something with some of her single girlfriends – something a little unorthodox (okay, a LOT unorthodox!) They began sexting each other. Nothing dirty, but pictures that embraced who they were as women, and all received responses back that focused on the positive. Things we tend to dislike, or judge, that others view differently. It’s amazing how our mind works like that, isn’t it? We can pick our bodies apart, down to the smallest details, yet look at someone else and see the most beautiful things. Things that are likely close or almost the exact same.
I read the article again last night before heading home. Walked in the studio and if you were listening to Steph, announced I’m going to start sexting my friends. Let me be more specific, a handful of my closest girl friends. Wait, let me be even more specific so you don’t get the wrong idea about me, tasteful photo’s that I wouldn’t be embarrassed if my mother saw.... [Read Full Story]

The Sarah Diaries: For My “Will”… Love Your “Grace”

He’s going to kill me, but sometimes situations present themselves that make it worth it. This is one of them. If there’s one thing I’ve learned this last year, it’s to not take people, or things for granted. To celebrate the ones that are in your life, and let them know how much you care.
Occasionally someone will come in to your life, and over the course of 14 years (seriously, has it been that long?!), becomes someone you genuinely love. They become family, a best friend, sounding board, work spouse, and cat co-parent. That basically sums up my relationship with our very own Zack East. What you might not know is behind the scene, he has a direct part in running your favorite station. And he’s REALLY good at it! As hard of a time as I give him, he’s one of the hardest working people I know. (Seriously, Steph and I yell at him to go home some nights.) He’s also one of the modest.
Tomorrow/Saturday is his birthday, but he doesn’t want the spotlight on him this year. In the past I’ve had the privilege of planning his birthday outing, an opportunity for some of his close friends to get together and celebrate one of our favorite people. We all share stories of how we first met him, or a favorite moment with him over time. I still remember my first conversation with Zack, he had just started working on our sister station ROCK 107 WIRX, and called in looking for information on the staff. Little did I know that would be the first of many memorable chats with him. One that makes me laugh just because of how it went down, happened during one of our first face to face meetings. He thought I was hitting on him and announced loudly “I’m gay!”, but I was actually more interested in his friend. One of my proudest was listening the day he came out during the morning show, because FINALLY!!!
If you’ve ever had the chance to watch someone grow/mature, and work their way up the totem pole, its something special. That’s exactly what’s happened with Zack, Though he’s now technically my boss, which in some situations creates an awkward chat or two. For the most part we have an understanding, work is work, and our friendship is separate.
Z: *sigh* Sarah you need to be doing this… why aren’t you doing it?!
Me: Uhmm… yeah, about that…
Z: *gives look*
Two years ago I decided I needed a change in my day job, and made the decision to leave the radio stations on a full-time level. To date, it’s one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. I wasn’t happy, but the thought of letting Zack down, failing him (and my love for my clients) were the only factors in staying for as long as I did. I actually remember in a round about way asking him for permission to leave. And I cried. Lots. Thankfully, he agreed to keep me around on a part-time basis, and well, ta da here I am! Getting to spend quality time with you, Zack, and the rest of the Coast family and loving every minute!
Over the years we’ve shared boyfriend break-ups, stories about good and bad dates, a love for hot hair, and walked arm-in-arm to various functions. As Steph put it, family is more than just blood, it’s people who you look up to, inspire you, love you. People who make your life better, that you have a connection with, trust, and can call on when you need help. I’m happy to call him my family.
The “Will” to my “Grace”, my loves to shop “husband”, Cosita’s Dad, one of my best friends, and part of my family.
Happy birthday, Zack!!
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The Sarah Diaries: Because I Said “No.”

Growing up “No” hasn’t been in my vocabulary as much as it probably should. Friends, jobs, family “Sarah can you…” was promptly met with a YES! I’m sure if I sat down with my therapist he would tell me it’s a need somewhere for me to be loved an accepted – and he’s probably right. I’ve gotten better about saying no, in most areas. I will admit, I’ve slacked on using it in my personal life, until recently.... [Read Full Story]

The Sarah Diaries: Goodbye My Almost Lover

As I’m sitting here typing this blog, I’m torn between feeling ashamed in myself, anger, and hurt to the point of tears. They say, first time – shame on them, second time, shame on me. What about the third, and fourth times?
The first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem, so let me share with you my stupidity or problem if you will. Fingers crossed this will prevent anyone else from being in my shoes and wearing the dunce hat so shamelessly. Christmas of 2013, I went south for a week. My friends talked me in to joining them for their first trip to Disney as a family. While down there, this guy, we’ll call him “Florida” and I started chatting via OKCupid and had some crazy instant connection. We ended up on a date to Gatorland of all places – which was super fun!
After returning to Michigan we continued to chat, and get to know each other. I honestly whole heartedly thought I found my person. I started job and apartment hunting and began mentally preparing myself to move to Florida. Looking back I’m SO happy that never happened.
Fast forward 2 years later, and I’ve assumed the role of his 2nd best option. It never fails, I get him out of my system and BOOM, he pops right back up. Conveniently it always when he’s had a falling out with his girlfriend, and I’ve allowed it. Like an idiot.
It’s amazing how social media can change things – and I fully credit Facebook for my discovery that they weren’t over. After calling him out, getting hit with the truth AGAIN, I can’t help but blame myself for all of this.
It’s not just Florida that I’ve fallen in to this pattern with. A few months after Florida and I ended our first round in 2014, I met “Michigan” – and guess what? Yep, stupid me, fell right in to his pattern, eerily similar to that of Florida’s.
Two years… TWO YEARS! That’s how long it’s taken me to realize I’m an idiot. Between the horrible dates, and the good ones with other guys, Michigan and Florida have had some magic control over me. Both of them pop in and out of my life when it’s convenient for them – ie, when problems with their women arise. And I let them, I put up little to no fight to prevent it.
Well, that was until today…
I’m not sure what’s so different about this morning, but I’ve decided my 12 step to recovery from both of them starts today.
It’s amazing what telling someone how you really feel and that “Block” button can do.
Here’s to 2017 being filled with less of them, and more of me rediscovering me.
Cheers!
-Sarah
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The Sarah Diaries: Christmas Pet

I can’t imagine my life with out a pet in it. They make my life so much better. We’ve had service dogs for my brother, standard Heinz 57 mixes for the rest of us kids, and let’s not forget the cats. There’s something comforting about walking in the house and being greeted by a 4 legged family member.
As I’ve grown up, they’ve become my kids, and I’ve developed a special place in my heart for shelter animals. They might be a mutt or mix, and occasionally they are pure-bred, but through no fault of their own, they’re now up for adoption. Christmas is one of many opportunities for these animals to find their “fur-ever home.”
Unfortunately, this is also how some animals end up in the shelter. The beginning of the following year hits, the novelty of a pet as a gift wears off, they do something “bad”, and suddenly they are cast as being a burden.
True story, I didn’t get my dog Duke during Christmas, but in the spring, weeks after watching my other dog Callie (Calla Lilly) get hit by a car. I was devastated, but I wanted another dog SO bad. Months before, she picked me as her person and I wanted to feel the love of my own dog again. I made the drive and ended up with this adorable black lab/husky mix, that after a few days I couldn’t stand. I wanted to return him, even considered dropping him off at the Humane Society. But I didn’t. Instead we enrolled in obedience classes, because I needed to learn how to handle him as much as he needed to learn the basic commands. Eventually he grew out of his puppy stage (which, by the way, 13 years later I’m thankful my now old man still has some puppy left in him!), and I can’t picture the last 13 years with any other dog.
Same goes for my feline kids… though occasionally Cosita drives me crazy (and drove Zack crazy when he had custody), she’s never leaving my house.
If you’re considering giving a pet as a gift this year, make sure you’re ready for the commitment, and I mean REALLY ready! You’re in it for the long haul! And keep in mind the local shelters and adoption agencies – like the ones Jonny and Meagan feature Friday mornings with Furry Friends Friday. Shelter animals have so much love to give to the right family.
Keep in mind these groups of animals too the below list all have a harder time getting adopted in general, but they love, cuddle, protect, and can become part of the family just the same:
1) Cats older than 9 months – kittens grow up in to these cats, but for some reason they struggle getting adopted.
2) Senior pets – All they want is love for their last years. Senior pets can be the perfect addition to a family, plus is gives them the love, attention, and knowledge that someone cares as they live out the final days.
3) Special needs/medical needs dogs and cats – These can be anything from missing legs, special diets, or medicine requirements. They can be more of a financial commitment, but just like people, these animals didn’t ask to be placed on this list. If you have the means, they’ll show you just as much, if not more love than others.
4) Bonded pets – Sometimes, 2 is better than 1. If you have the room, and you notice there are 2 dogs or cats that have a bond already, they will thrive so much more being adopted together.
5) Shy pets – being  in a shelter is scary enough for a human walking in, let alone an animal that’s living there! They will likely come out of their shell after you get them home, and are occasionally overlooked for the more active/sassy ones.
6) The LT Pets – Otherwise known as the pets who have been waiting at the shelter for a long amount of time. There’s nothing wrong with them, but occasionally YEARS can go by without their “person” coming in.
Click Here for the Furry Friends Friday page with a list of adoptable pets, and to see all the different organizations that you can find your next addition.
Merry Christmas!!
-Sarah
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The Sarah Diaries: Bah Humbug!

No, I’m not trying to be a Scrooge! I LOVE Christmas! It is hands down my favorite holiday and time of year. (Just maybe, minus some snow?) I genuinely enjoy the giving season and opportunities to spoil people I love and care about. However, there are still a few things I dread as we get closer and closer to the holidays.... [Read Full Story]

The Sarah Diaries: Dear Self…

I stumbled across a very sobering statistic recently, that honestly made me completely self aware for the entire weekend. The average women criticizes herself 8 times per day. Going back to my last diary entry where I mentioned being our own worst critics, 8 times per day doesn’t seem like much, until you start doing the math. 8 times, every single day, on average is 2,912 times per year. Over 33 years (my current age), that’s 96,096 times. Yet, the average woman praises herself a fraction of that 8 times. I can’t say that I’m not guilty, there are some days I’m well over 8  just during my few hours with you.... [Read Full Story]

The Sarah Diaries: Realizing He Really Isn’t That In To You

Is there honestly anything worse than meeting someone, thinking you’ve hit it off, and discovering/realizing they just aren’t that in to you? I mean let’s be honest. Being rejected SUCKS! Not just, to your face rejected, but ghosted, person is MIA, you have no clue what went wrong, REJECTED!
For me, I automatically go worse case scenario. They’re married/in a relationship already, realize they are out of my league and are turned off by my size/hair color/face/personality/something! I mean, we are our own worst critics, and my self deprecation level is pretty intense at times. For me at least, it’s natural to automatically go to the dark side, the key is to not STAY there. The dark side has a way of bringing out the worst – not that I’m admitting total guilt here or anything, or pleading the 5th. But not understanding why, when you thought it was a home run, can bring out the crazy in even the most sane of individuals. I’ve been told a little crazy is normal, a whole lot of crazy can be scary!
There’s a natural urge and want to be accepted by people in general, I think maybe even more so by someone you’re attracted too. One second you’re sitting there going, “Just 1 text, it wont hurt”, the next you’ve sent 18 texts, 3 Snapchats, 2 unanswered calls, and a series of Facebook/Kik/whatever other form of social media you use to chat. And they are all still unanswered.
Recently, I had that horrible realization, he’s just not in to me. No, the number listed above is NOT how drastic I went, but… I might have sent a few messages that went unanswered for DAYS, and I got the hint. Friend zoned. Younger me, would still be crying almost a week later in to her gallon of chocolate ice cream (yes I said gallon, because, well go big or go home?) Older me sighed with disappointment, and made plans for Live Mannequins. Guess what? It still stings, but spending time with friends who love me, made it better.
I guess what I’m saying it, put the phone down. Stop thinking. If there’s something there, and the ball is in their court, let them make the play. It might hurt, but I’m willing to bet there’s something bigger and better out there for you. At least, that’s what my single scoop of chocolate ice cream and I have decided to believe.
-Sarah
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The Sarah Diaries: Thank YOU!!

As I’m sitting down to write this, I can’t help be automatically feel a little mushy. 2016 has been a rough year, but it’s also been an amazing one too. A roller coaster of emotions, success, and heartbreak. Marriages, babies, promotions, vacations, and checking off parts of your bucket list counters any of the sadness or loss that this year has brought.
When it really comes down to it, each of us can and should take a few minutes to pause and give thanks for even the smallest of things. Things like having an entire community to explore, discover, and call home in Michigan’s Great Southwest.
All 4 seasons, even if they do all happen the same week. ;-) Friends and family who support you, and offer a words of encouragement, a congratulatory hug, or a shoulder to cry on. New faces that were strangers last year, but are now key parts of your life.
Days with NOTHING on the agenda, and the most jam packed, when are we going to sleep, weeks of summer. Bonfires, cookouts, concerts, and the smell of a freshly mowed lawn. The first snowman of the year, and the way the snow glitters like a diamond.
Curling up to watch your favorite movie with your 2 or 4 legged kids. The way the kitchen smells when you’re baking your grandma’s famous pie.  The smell of the grapes right before harvest, and conversations that make you lose track of time.
Having a job that you love (or 2!) that connects you with listeners who’ve become a second family. For that, for all the above, for you, I’m thankful.
-Sarah
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The Sarah Diaries: How Soon Is Too Soon To Meet The Fam?

The Holiday Season can be stressful for multiple reasons. If you’re single, well, do I really need to explain? But being in a new and exciting relationship can bring all kinds of new stress to the party. How soon is too soon to introduce them to your family? What are the odds that you’ll still be together for the next big family holiday outing? (Because nothing says awkward like being asked what happened over and over by extended family – I speak from experience.) How do you determine who’s family you’re meeting first?... [Read Full Story]